I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
