I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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