did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
