i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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