Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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