How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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