Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Acid is not a monday night drug
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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