Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i love accidental penises.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
