Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
