His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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