Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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