Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Fine. I'll sleep in my office

Fav 5 989 1460
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(703): View more from Virginia

Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight

Fav 4 1179 944
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex

Fav 27 1376 4112
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.

Fav 20 1318 5172
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(773): View more from Illinois

arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better

Fav 19 5918 1534
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(817): View more from Texas

90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus

Fav 15 8463 1422
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.

Fav 7 4125 1559
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming

Fav 1 70 9
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(386): View more from Florida

If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.

Fav 0 64 4
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