in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
