this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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