my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize