Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
