A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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