so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
