Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
