I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize