You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
