So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
