so explain again why im purple
no
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
