I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
