Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
