shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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