Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
