i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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