okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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