You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
