She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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