a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
