Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
