Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
