Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
last night I used snow as a chaser
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize