can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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