Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize