Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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