How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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