Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
