at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
