May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
