you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
