If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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