btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize