take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
