One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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