It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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