Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
