I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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