what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
