By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
