he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
