idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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