I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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