I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize