My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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