so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There are leaves in my underwear?
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