i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
