Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
