sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
