My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
