please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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